Reply to 7 yo who hurts parent to express anger

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He “ won’t engage” with a therapist? 
What does this mean? [/quote]

Will not talk, shuts down, gets silly.  She said it can be hard with kids this age (or any age) in that they sniff out what you’re trying to do and if they don’t want to talk about feelings or whatever they just won’t.  After a couple sessions she said it wouldn’t help him for him to directly have therapy (vs parent coaching for me) if he won’t engage. [/quote]
Parent coaching is great, but I’m puzzled the therapist said that. Kids of 7 usually have play based therapy because it is unusual for them to participate in talk therapy like an adult. I would look for another therapist for your child.

[/quote]

She tried all sorts of play (from things like playing the game sorry (which he loves) and each getting to ask each other questions when they drew certain cards. The minute she started to touch even directionally on feeling type things he shut down and turned silly….to art which he loves generally).  Kids this age (or at least my kid) can generally pick up when someone is nudging them towards areas that make them uncomfortable.  I think she was quite good generally and she specializes in kids behavior, but he wasn’t having it even as play therapy [/quote]
That is still not how play therapy is supposed to work. Being questioned or pushed to talk about the feelings because you lost during Sorry is not play therapy. Play therapy involves very subtle guidance by the therapist as the child leads play. As you look for a new therapist, ask directly what play therapy looks like, what guidelines they follow, etc. I am saying this not to criticise you, but to help you find a better therapist.

My son hurt me too, albeit at an older age. One question I have is how your husband treats you in front of your son. Is he respectful? I don’t mean just what we might think of as abuse, but does he condescend, override your decisions or agreements, just generally disrespect you?[/quote]

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