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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I 100% understand- mine literally didn't sleep at all for first 7 months at night and would scream all night if not on boob ( I wrote above that we nick named her boobie). Our pediatrician told us to try ferber at 4 months and was giant fail. The big thing was loading her up with lots of milk during day ( eg bottles of pumped milk).  I believe this is the 12 hours by 12 weeks method too. I feel guilty bc I think I made my kid overly big ( she struggled on growth chart for many months with frequent weight checks and after was super heavy). I assume this is why formula kids sleep better too- they typically have larger portions during day then you'd get at boob.

Thinking of those nights where mine didn't sleep for months still brings me trauma and I definitely wanted to divorce my husband during that time[/quote]

I’m sorry this happened to you too. No one believes you sleep training can fail. These threads attract all the parents of easy babies who want to glibly tell you how easy it all was and how weak and incompetent you are. I am not weak. I’d like to see anyone else survive 2.5 years of being woken up 10-40 times a night.[/quote]

I’m the PP whose kids nursed forever, and who were crappy sleepers as babies and now as older children. I agree with this 100 percent. We sleep trained the oldest one with Ferber and she screamed and cried til she puked and almost choked on it. The whole, they eventually wind down and learn to self-soothe literally never happened for this child. She would get more, and more, and more upset until she was absolutely hysterical and screaming her head off. We lived in a condo building and had neighbors who complained about the crying and it just did not work for her. She has anxiety now as an older kid and still needs a parent and can’t self-soothe to sleep. It’s horrible.

With the second one I was determined to get them to be a good sleeper so we did Taking Cara Babies religiously. I had them sleeping 11-12 hours at one point and thought we had finally figured it out! But then they learned to roll and we had to stop swaddling and my life went to hell. The child would wake up 27-29 minutes after falling asleep every single time - nap, bedtime, etc. I could set a clock by it, and the only way we could get this kid to sleep was by holding them, so it was even worse than the older one.

None of this made sense to me at the time - other parents reported getting sleep, their kids sleep training well, their kids weaning at a year easily, etc. and I felt like I was on Mars and was just the world’s worst mother. Well, my kids are older now and both now have special needs diagnoses. When I met other special needs parents, they all had similar experiences with their neurodivergent children with issues with difficult births, nursing, sleeping, etc. I guess this is common. But of course, it doesn’t make sense until later.

I will say, that having older kids who have never slept well has resulted in a level of sleep deprivation that had really morphed my personality and my husband’s. It’s been so bad for our marriage, and had I known how bad it was going to continue to be, I wish we would have done formula always (because kids do sleep better with formula - breastmilk gets burned off quickly and they have to eat more often and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise) and hired a professional sleep trainer to help us do it. [/quote]
That's crazy town. With kids that bad, you need to hire two trainers who can trade nights, mom and dad need to leave and sleep in a hotel.

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