Reply to Elders sometimes become abusive toward those they were closest to, so please don't insert yourself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I know better and do better than my parents. This forum has become a circlejerk for people who diagnose and judge elders with no mercy and based on TikTok psychology. It’s sick. I know generational trauma and violence, and there are times when “NC” is warranted. But it’s become a default for people who didn’t get what they think was perfect parenting. And the ones who screech the loudest and hurt their vulnerable parent will be the ones screeching for inheritance as well. If you’re so healthy with these NC relationships, why are you all constantly bemoaning it in here. Go be happy.

You need a separate forum so those of us who actually want to care for elders can have normal conversations that don’t immediately get derailed into this cult like behavior[/quote]

Good for you. I'm the PP and I personally am not NC, but am LC. That said, elder care is often enmeshed with emotional abuse, sometimes both ways. If you notice, most elder care topics circle about dealing with old women (moms), who both live longer and cause more emotional trauma than men (fathers). It's impossible to discuss an elder care topic without having to deal with related mental health issues. In the end, how and who is to care for elders has to do with what kind of people they are and have been. People who don't want to do any eldercare don't come here (real NC, something really bad happened), people who have no problems doing it all don't come here either (happy families). Most issues have to do with how much involvement should one have given the past and our own background with the elder. I've never seen a nice and pleasant person turn nasty in their old age. For me, this board has been immensely useful in both understanding that I'm not alone and that my feelings in this matter are valid. [/quote]

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