Reply to Elders sometimes become abusive toward those they were closest to, so please don't insert yourself

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One doesn't have to be a narc to be a crappy parent. Let's face it: mental health was never talked about just a few decades ago and whatever happened in the family, stayed in the family. Maybe 30 years from now things will be different, but what is happening now is certainly healthier than what people had to put up with. If we can do better, why not try? In reality, the only people who love dysfunction in the families are the ones who drive that dysfunction. I'm happy I realized (quite early on) I want to live differently, be a different parent, and I'm not sorry for it. I'm sure my kids will have something to complain about, but I can tell you, they will not be complaining about the things I had to deal with. As far as reading is concerned, why not? It's living in a fantasy world. There are other ways to dissociate, playing video games for example. I would not doubt there may be some truth to it. [/quote]

This. My mother privately mocks her friends who got therapy. Meanwhile abusive behavior and mental illness ran rampant in her own family and within her. Her friends are close with their adult children. Some broke very disturbing cycles. Lots of estrangements in mom's family. I am low contact because that works for me and i make sure she has good professionals taking care of her needs. People talk about this plague of estrangements and low contact, but who is ill? The people who slowly distance quite often report a sense of safety or relief and improvement in physical and mental health. The ones who complain are often the ones who refused to get help and preferred to take out their demons on others. So they were "ill" before the estrangement too, but they got a strange relief from being hurtful to others. I really think it can be like an addiction to drama and anger and the release.Now they don't have their fix and it's time to truly get healthy.[/quote]

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