Reply to Lonely in middle age but finding that I don't like many people

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd look for friendships that are less all encompassing.  Have one friend that you like to walk with (or whatever) have another friend you go to movies with have another friend you try new restaurants with etc.

I think putting all the friendship needs into one basket is hard.  But we can share experiences and time with people who are not a perfect fit, but a sort of fit, much easier if we don't try to take the "go to the movies friend" and make them the "Saturday night dinner friend".[/quote]

I agree with this approach. I have a number of friends who are a good fit in certain settings and not others. That partly depends on what we have in common. I don’t have a BFF and maybe never will again but I do have a number of people I enjoy and care about and I think it’s better than rejecting people because they are not “good enough”.

I also think part of the issue is people are stretched so thin they have really high expectations for their limited free time. They don’t want to waste it on someone who is an unknown quantity. I think it’s a shame. Or they are annoyed that the activity they did with a friend wasn’t perfect- they friend spoiled it by some relatively innocuous trait. I have tried to make more time for real life and not just have a hour here or there to completely rejuvenate myself if that makes sense.[/quote]

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