Reply to I’m breadwinner, dh asked me to help with side hustle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure that not making as much money makes one irresponsible and worthy of contempt. In many families the breadwinner pays for a lot more…it doesn’t mean the other person is irresponsible.

Ranting about paying for more in a marriage is certainly something that will get different reactions depending on gender.[/quote]

It's very clearly not the money that is triggering the contempt.  It's his lack of taking care of anything else to do with the kids, the house, planning, logistics, etc.  She said she was tired of being the only responsible one, not the only one with a W-2.

Most men get away with doing little or nothing around the house or with the kids by playing the "I pay for everything" card.  When you don't pull you weight in the family or the checkbook, there's nowhere to hide.

That said, I think it's obvious OP knows she shouldn't have lost her shit with him and ranted.  And I think it's equally as obvious that he has no intention of making more money (as an attorney, "find some spare clients in a field where I have no training and expect free admin services from yet another fully employed attorney" is not a real thing.  It's 99% certain that neither DH nor OP can do this, under their current work agreements, and it's 100% certain that it would not be lucrative between having to learn the law, buy professional liability insurance, and drum up business) but rather wants to cosplay as someone trying to respond to the critique without actually putting in any effort himself.

Without counseling I think the contempt is too deep for this marriage.  Whether OP wants to go to counseling with someone who she views essentially as an albatross is not clear.  [/quote]

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