Reply to >25% of female physicians deal with infertility- which other professions have similar highs?

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Reply to ">25% of female physicians deal with infertility- which other professions have similar highs?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]common amongst my peers with phds... this wasn't about not knowing. I didn't finish school until I was 30 and unfortunately didn't meet my partner until 34. [/quote]

This. You can know and still not have the  partner or know but not want to go it alone[/quote]

Yes. Attorney who just posted. Unless you already have a partner you will marry by the time you start your professional training it is very hard to develop that relationship during graduate school or in the first few years of your career. The hours are very long and everyone you meet is ambitious and focused on work. It can also be a very transient time -- you go where you get into grad school and you may have to be flexible about where you go work after (this is even more true for doctors than other professionals because of the residency and fellowship system) which makes it especially difficult to focus on your personal life at all.

The women I know in law and medicine who handled this best all took time off between college and grad school and met their spouses during that time. They may not have married until they were in grad school or even after but they met their partners during the in between time and then their spouses had to sign on for medical or law school and all that went with it which meant they understood from the start what they were signing up for. And then these women all had kids in their late 20s to early 30s at the latest.

But if you didn't have that partner lined up by your first year of your grad program the vast majority of women I know (including me) didn't even marry until mid-30s. This of course increases the likelihood of fertility issues and also limits how many kids you can have even if you don't have fertility issues. It's also frankly a hard time to have a baby. In some ways easier (you are established) and in other ways harder. I would not recommend it to my daughter.[/quote]
Hot take, have kids age 20, 22, go to college age 27 [/quote]

Best of luck finding a man who is ready and willing to have kids at that age. I know women who could handle becoming moms that young and who I know would go on to finish their degrees and have careers. But even among the men I know who are now pretty good dads not one of them would have been a good father at 20 or 22. So many men are just deeply selfish and have very little capacity to sacrifice for others and this is never more apparent than when they have kids and struggle mightily to let go of things like staying up drinking with buddies all night or not having to tell anyone where they are for hours on end. And you see this in men in their late 20s and 30s.

22 year old men are huge liabilities and you can't have kids with them. Fix men and then we'll talk.[/quote]

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