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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents were marginally present, but also very conservative/traditional and extremely authoritarian. As a girl the extent of executive functioning skills taught to me was “marry a rich man”. I was also taught to be an extreme people pleaser (“god first, others second, you third”).

I’m nearly 40 and learning these things now. My H has been helping me learn how to communicate and set boundaries. He even reads any work emails and helps me respond to them appropriately. I read books about finance and communication which have helped.

Siblings aren’t much better off. My brother was sent to one of those camps where they kidnap you in the middle of the night and you live in the woods for months on end. He was literally just a normal kid who struggled with ADHD and is probably slightly autistic. All it did was put him around actually troubled kids where he picked up really bad stuff. Now at 35, he’s an alcoholic, unemployed, has served jail time for DUIs.

All 3 of us ended up with unplanned pregnancies. We received zero sexual education other than “don’t have sex”. So my sister and I never learned how to set boundaries and say no with sex and have been assaulted multiple times. 
[/quote]

Maybe I am cherry picking but some
of these resonates. No sex. So extreme. That was my upbringing. My sister was assaulted and I married the FIRST man, depriving myself trial and error with relationships and learning who I was and what I wanted out of a romantic relationship. Hindsight is 2o-2o.  Everyone has their different 
problems!

In addition, I sound like that person’s spouse. I was in major denial. My entire group of siblings were and remain in denial. It’s a coping skill. I actually do not think you can push a realization of one’s childhood shortcomings and it’s not healthy to try to open it up. It might happen on its own. [/quote]

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