Reply to Boundaries in a long term marriage

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Boundaries in a long term marriage"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always read that you have to set boundaries in your relationship, when you want to be treated with respect and decency. How do you do this if the other spouse continually disrespects you and treats you like garbage. The only consequence you have left is to get a divorce?[/quote]

You take enough time dating and cohabiting to make sure you two are compatible and capable of respecting boundaries.[/quote]

This response is unhelpful and misses the point. This is about boundaries in a marriage, specifically with children. Dating and cohabiting phase is over. The question wasn’t retrospective - what could have been done differently. It was forward looking - what can I do in this situation from NOW ON. Responders often get this wrong.[/quote]

What changed? Did you spouse begin treating you differently after you had kids? Or start treating you differently recently? Or did you decide now that you have kids to witness the behavior that the way you are treated is unacceptable?

Boundaries are a tool used to regain control in a relationship that is not working. I disagree that marriage requires boundaries in order to be treated with respect. If you have to tell someone not to insult, belittle you, control you, cheat, etc. and that there will be consequences if they do - you are already in a pretty bad place. If you are married to someone who has to be told not to insult you, the issue is not the lack of an explicit boundary and asking for one is not going to make them respect you. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics