Reply to How to deal with elderly parents?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How to deal with elderly parents? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wish more people thought of this.  I'm a doctor with lots of elderly parents and I am shocked at how uninvolved most adult children are with their parents.  It is difficult to age: appointments, insurance, finances, health care decisions, are more complicated now.  Elderly are so often targeted for financial scams, it is awful.  Please have the difficult conversation with your elderly parents about: health care and financial power of attorney, where they keep essential information (especially since they will invariably forget every password ever created), who their doctor is, what their expectations are for the future.  They will resist this conversation, as most are in denial about the loss of independence, and they need a gentle push to just get over it (I would suggest a trust attorney to help navigate this if it's possible). They are definitely annoying, but so are most people in different ways. They don't want to stop driving, don't want to downsize to an apartment, don't want to move closer to you even though you need to stay where you are for your job, but maybe they should.   They should know how to use an Uber app, order groceries online, put a freeze on their credit accounts, etc.  [/quote]

And how do you exactly imagine having someone give up their information on health, money etc. when they're unwilling to do so? My parents have never shared any information. For them, conversation like this is a non-starter. So I do nothing. I'm not going to twist myself into a knot if they don't want to approach aging like normal human beings. I honestly think a lot of this generation of elders have mental health issues, are super selfish (have been their whole lives) and cannot take their adult kids for adults. I say this as someone who had a grandma living with us and pretty much raising us kids (read: selfish parents) and there were none of those issues. [/quote]

This is my in laws. If my husband tries to discuss anything, he’s told to F off. Meanwhile they live in a house we own and we pay all their bills. Three times in the past year my MiL has called to say FIL is at hospital dying, all three times he’s recovered and been sent home. They won’t give any info about what is going on other than calling for emergencies, won’t discuss anything, won’t consider assisted living. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics