Reply to How does a judge decide custody when all the factors to be considered seem equal?

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Reply to "How does a judge decide custody when all the factors to be considered seem equal?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand how “right of first refusal works.” So every day dad would have to check in with mom to offer her pickup from preschool until he was off work? And if she passes/“refuses” then he has to scramble to get someone else to do it?

What if he decides to cut out of work early? Then he has to reach out to his ex again to say he doesn’t need childcare?

Child is never allowed to spend an afternoon hanging out with the dad’s fiancée until he gets home, just because mom wants that time? Child has to go back and forth between houses every single day??

Sounds deranged. Anyone who wants that level of involvement and control over their ex’s life and household has major issues. Cant tell you how to prove that to the court tho. 
[/quote]

Just like you explained it - with concrete details about how crazy it would be.

Right of first refusal makes some sense for very young kids but can grow really complex just like you note. The right way to do it is to specificy it doesn’t apply to relatives, and also that the length of time is significant, like 8 hrs or overnight. So it would never kick in for something so short as 2-3 hours between preschool and dad getting home.

OP sounds like your ex may be borderline. There are a lot of books out there to help you learn how to deal with them. [/quote]

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