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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I’ll offer one alternate explanation for the rage that is true for me and you may not have considered. Sometimes when my kid, say, hurts herself by pulling down something heavy onto her head after I’ve repeatedly warned her not to, my first internal reaction is rage. I’ve thought about it a lot and I think the reason is because I’m have a reactive, protective anger at whoever hurt my child. Then by brain immediately processes that, in fact, my child hurt my child, and I pull it together to comfort instead of scold. I hate that that’s my first immediate feeling but it often is. Maybe it’s the same for you? You just hate seeing your kid get hurt.[/quote]

I'm not OP but want to add on.  I've realized that part of my "big feelings" when I've warned a kid repeatedly about a danger is that I feel ignored, that I've failed (because child is hurt), and I have to interrupt whatever I was doing to solve a perfectly preventable problem (child is hurt).  The extreme feelings around failure and a "problem to solve" come from being a parentified child where I felt complete responsibility but had no power WRT the things going on around me.  I'm still sorting that out.  I don't generally view my children as problems! [/quote]

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