Reply to Anxious and introverted four year old won't participate in anything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m another person agreeing that organized sports should probably not be your focus/goal right now. Prioritize giving him opportunities to move his body and learn to regulate it. Swimming was amazing for my sensory-seeking little boy. As was the old air mattress we blew up on rainy days — so much bigger and more fun than a mini trampoline! Instead of organized soccer, kick a ball back and forth. Instead of organized basketball, take a ball to the playground court and practice dribbling, passing and even shooting if the hoop is low enough. If he’s amenable to sharing it/taking turns for a bit, bringing a stomp rocket to the park always draws in a crowd, and gives him and you a chance to socialize a bit in a pretty unstructured way.

He won’t outgrow his innate wiring, but over time he’ll figure out how to navigate situations/people/activities in a more comfortable way. And he’ll ultimately learn how to choose activities that sing to him. For example, my little boy always loved swimming but hated the “hurry up and wait” of summer swim and winter stroke clinics. However, take him to the beach and he’d play in the waves all day long. And as a young adult, he even got his scuba certification. But he still gets twitchy when he has to wait in line in a crowd. [/quote]

This. He is anxious at dropoff or at sports because he knows he's being asked to do something too far above his skill level. OP, I understand you want him to participate to develop those skills, but right now the gap is too big. Focus on his basic motor development and team sports can be a future goal.

If he can be very very good at just one thing, that will build confidence and respect from others. If he is the fastest runner, or the best hitter, best with fly balls, or whatever, then other issues will not be as stigmatizing. Figure out one area of potential strength and develop it. [/quote]

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