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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Then you should've left 5-7 weeks ago.

You already know the answer and are seeking validation.  I get it.  But he is decidedly NOT 'the one.'[/quote]
No you're totally right. I did want validation.

I guess I'm just anxious about what next. I'm 31. [b]I now do this thing where I do the math in my head like, okay, if I break up with him this month, and I take a couple months off from dating, and then I meet someone by the holidays,[/b] I can get engaged in a year which means after a year long engagement...

I'm deeply neurotic about what happens next.[/quote]

Isn’t this the equivalent of the sunk cost fallacy?  You keep investing even though the outcome doesn’t seem promising because you’ve already spent x amount of time or money when in the long run you would do better to cut your losses now.

So ask yourself, could I live with x behavior for the next 30 years?  If the answer is no, assume he isn’t going to change and that will always be as a source of friction in your relationship, behavior any children you have will see and be influenced by, and will come up in co-parenting if you divorce because that’s who he is.  So the sooner you break up, the sooner you have the chance to find the right person for you.

BTW, a few years ago I saw a study on how many marriages are mixed political party and I think it was less than 25%. It was also interesting to see the breakdown by gender and party affiliation and which combinations were rare.  IMO when there is difference in race, religion, political views, or economic class there has to be enough in common with everything else so the differences don’t break the relationship.

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