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Eldercare
Reply to "Extreme, debilitating regret in midlife."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've had a dear friend go through this for several years in mid-life. In her case, I think there is an element of OCD-like, unproductive thinking that has finally been helped with a mediation change and a good treating psychiatrist. The thing that frustrates me is her lack of action to change things she doesn't like about her life. I her case she regrets not finding a life partner and complains about being lonely, but she does little about it. If you're lonely, join 6 groups- A church choir; a regular volunteer organization, Sierra Club hiking group, a book club etc. They won't all pan out, but start building out avenues that might just lead you to build real connections you desire. Paralyzing regret and wishing you'd taken another path is non-productive. Decide what can help move you toward a more positive direction and MOVE TOWARD IT. [/quote] I wonder what role your obvious judgment and criticism of your friend plays in her paralysis. Not that you need fix her life but that in my experience people who think like you about others who are struggling are not good people to be around when you are trying to figure out how to fix things. Your impatience and the belief that if the other person "would just do XYZ" (XYZ is always some pithy solution you came up with like "join 6 groups") then their problems would be solved. The something I had to do in order to create momentum in my life was get people like you OUT of my life so that I could figure out what I wanted to do without constantly being told that the choices I was making or the things I was feeling were simply wrong.[/quote]
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