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[quote=Anonymous]Very happily married 20 years, together 24. I overlooked the following in dating:

- crappy white trash family with reps to which he carried a lot of baggage. “Luckily” his dad had already passed and his mom passed ten years ago, which immensely lifted 90 percent of his guilt. He still has some weird baggage that comes up, but it will never be bad or get worse.

- no money and had a lot of student debt that he was not adequately handling at the time we met. But we were both young, him just out of school and I wasn’t from the us and didn’t have experience with student loans. He’s lucky that I started making very good money around when we got married and we paid off his debt within a year, and I’ve handled money since then. And he now makes lots of it too. In hindsight, had we not both done so well in our careers, the financial (minor) irresponsibility could have been a way bigger issue.

- very low bandwidth to do much. He’s very successful in his job, but it is not a big time commitment. And he does a lot around the house (meals, shopping, laundry etc) but we outsource a lot (cleaner, lawn) so that stuff doesn’t take much time. So he’s not very taxed. But still, he needs a big nap every day, a lot of downtime, and we socialize on weekends but he also needs a lot of weekend downtime. I’m super high energy and I’ve always found this part of him frustrating, but he’s such a great person for the stuff we do together that I was willing to overlook it. [/quote]

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