Reply to Husband makes jokes at my expense in front of the kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to have thick skin and learn how to fire back with some sick burns.

They’re just jokes.  Stop being so lame. [/quote]

Then why can't he 'take a joke?'

Op go on strike.  Do not make any more meals for him ( if the kids don't complain contibue to make food just for them/yourself)  if he says something say you don't like my food, remember?

Get your affairs in order so you are able to divorce if need be.[/quote]

This approach feels so good but it's passive-aggressive and will do nothing to show the DH why he's utterly wrong. He'll only get angry and insist OP is even more the bad guy and he's just a fun ol' joker and she does not "get it." Rather than passive-agressively going on strike, she needs to speak up very clearly. Then put meals on a rota system so he is making half of them, or all of them at weekends, or whatever. If my own DH wanted to cook at home rather than get takeout, he would also immediately suggest that HE cook. This DH seems...entitled and spoiled.

Also: This is not really about this one meal or her cooking in general. He mocks her cooking but I would bet that he makes "joking" digs at other things she does and says too, not just cooking. Right, OP?

That's why OP shouldn't make this 100 percent about cooking and shouldn't let him make it 100 percent about how she "can't take a joke." It's about a much bigger issue. His "sense of humor" is skewed because he thinks that it's funny to hurt her, and when she says it's hurtful, he dismisses her feelings. That's called contempt. It's toxic. If other things are good, this behavior can be dealt with and unlearned so knee-jerk divorce is not necessarily the outcome here. [/quote]

It isn't passive aggressive if you TELL HIM WHY YOU ARE NOT COOKING.  I never said not informing him!  [/quote]

If she makes it all about the cooking/criticism of the cooking, he will believe that's the problem. It's actually a symptom of a much worse issue, his oblivious willingness to hurt his wife (and the fact he's teaching the kids to think hurtful "jokes" are merely fun). Yes, she can and should drop the rope re: cooking in whatever way keeps her and the kids fed, but she should not center this whole conflict on cooking. He will never get the real message, which is that he needs to stop being a self-centered a$$ who mistakes nasty digs for "humor." [/quote]

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