Reply to Hot take: I think we overemphasize 'time moves fast' and underemphasize 'time off'.

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Reply to "Hot take: I think we overemphasize 'time moves fast' and underemphasize 'time off'. "

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[quote=Anonymous]Another spin on "time moves fast":

If you do not take time for yourself or have any goals or hobbies of your own outside of your kids and work then one day you are going to wake up on the other side of having parented one or more kids to adulthood and ask yourself "Who even am I?"

And you may discover that some of the stuff you've put off to focus just on your kids are a lot harder to do on the other side of that 20ish year period. Stuff like making friends and learning new skills and certain kinds of travel or quality time with your spouse.

That doesn't mean ignore your kids and just focus on yourself. But if you ignore yourself and just focus on your kids then some of the things you wanted for yourself in life might pass you by. Some of this depends on how old you were when you had kids and what life was like before.

I also think to myself about the example I'm setting. I don't want to teach my kids to martyr themselves to anything. I want them to have fulfilling and balanced lives. That means it's good for them to see me sometimes taking time to do something I really care about just for me. They see me doing for them all the time (and likely take it for granted which is fine -- kids should take for granted that their parents will show up for them like that). But I also want them to have memories of me pursuing my own goals or taking pleasure in stuff just for me. They might miss me for a night or a day or a weekend here and there now but I don't think it will scar them and then later they'll know that's something they can and should do for themselves later.[/quote]

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