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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Really depends on his situation, which he should be willing to discuss.

In my case the marriage ended long before the separation and it took 1.5 years to divorce. I know several people who are now married to people they met while one or the other was separated. It happens.

Every divorce is different. If he’s in mediation or otherwise actively moving towards divorce I don’t see the harm. [/quote]
This.  "Separated" can mean a lot of things.  In my case, I was separated for about six months before the divorce was finalized.  My (now) ex had moved out of state and made it clear there would be no reconciliation; the difference between "separated" and "divorced" was just a matter of whether a court had made it official or not (especially after about three months, when we signed our settlement agreement).

But there are situations other posters describe, where people are "separated" for years, or "separated" while living in the same house, or "separated" while trying to work things out.  The advantage of a potential dating partner being "divorced" is that it's a lot more final and less ambiguous than "separated."

None of this is to suggest that I was in any condition to date while I was merely "separated," or that I was suddenly in any better position to date once the divorce was official.  My advice to OP would be to be careful about dating men who are separated not because they aren't officially divorced (or that dating a not-yet-divorced man is "gross"), but that he's probably recently enough separated that he's going to be going through a lot of end-of-relationship issues.  And if it isn't a recent separation, why has he been separated so long?  Lots of potential red flags there.[/quote]

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