Reply to Husband’s spending out of control

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to get him to agree that now that you've had a baby it's time for the two of you to review your budget and spending. Diapers cost a lot, for example. What are the two of you NOT going to buy so you can allocate money towards diapers?

If you can get him on board with seeing "here are all the things we NEED to spend money on" and compare that to how much is coming in, he'll be more likely to get on board with "here is how much we can spend on WANTS".

If you have to invest in a meeting with a financial advisor, do that. If you have to pursue friendships with people who are a little more humble in their spending habits, do that. [/quote]

OP here. We can afford basic and some luxury expenses. I just worry if will why out of hand.

[b]I do admit I buy the most expensive diaper and wipes but that’s a preference for me.[/b] [/quote]

OP, do you see the fallacy in what you are saying here. Buying expensive diapers and wipes because that's your preference. Buying an expensive car is his preference. Each of you has to not buy your preference, but what is sensible for your budget. If you said I buy the expensive diapers and wipes because the cheaper ones irritate my baby's skin, that would be justifiable if you are trying to learn to budget.

So maybe you both need a lesson in understanding how live a life that allows you to have more kids, pay for college and retirement. You also probably need to discuss why he is doing this. This kind of behavior is generally born out of insecurity.

[/quote]

I’m not sure that OP understands that she behaves exactly like her husband. Or maybe she believes because it’s on a smaller scale it doesn’t matter. But even on a smaller scale if you do it regularly, it adds up to the cost of an expensive party.

It’s hard to tell if spending is unreasonable because we don’t know your down payment and monthly costs. But what I do know is that when it comes to money, so long as you can afford your lifestyle and are planning and saving for the future, there needs to be compromise. Diapers are important to you and spending more on a car is important to him. [/quote]

To be fair, the price differential between Pampers and Luvs might be something like $200 over the course of a year.  You can’t really compare it to the difference between buying a $1.8m house instead of a $1.2m house for example.  [/quote]

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