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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One set of grandparents always came for the kids b-days (even when they were teens), one didn't.  What's the big deal if you have cake in NYC and again at home?  Be happy her grandparents want to be so engaged in her life![/quote]

OP here. I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a big deal? Clean guest room and wash the sheets, make sure I have enough food for multiple meals a day, bake a cake, clean the house, cancel events we've already scheduled.

You're phrasing it like I have a cake all made and am refusing two people some slices.

We JUST saw them last weekend, like 4 days before her birthday. Why couldn't they have celebrated her then? Why does it have to be after?[/quote]

You're right, particularly because you just saw them last weekend.  If it was about celebrating DD's birthday, the grandparents would have done it then.  This is probably more about these grandparents have a difficult time adjusting to how things will change as DD gets older.  My MIL, who is a lovely woman and I get along great with her, had a tough time accepting that birthday parties were going to look different as DCs got more independent.  For a few years it was more about meeting her expectations and not about what DCs wanted to do to celebrate.

It just seems silly to recreate another birthday celebration that the birthday girl doesn't actually want.  [/quote]

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