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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One set of grandparents always came for the kids b-days (even when they were teens), one didn't.  What's the big deal if you have cake in NYC and again at home?  Be happy her grandparents want to be so engaged in her life![/quote]

OP here. I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a big deal? Clean guest room and wash the sheets, make sure I have enough food for multiple meals a day, bake a cake, clean the house, cancel events we've already scheduled.

You're phrasing it like I have a cake all made and am refusing two people some slices.

We JUST saw them last weekend, like 4 days before her birthday. Why couldn't they have celebrated her then? Why does it have to be after?[/quote]

NP and it is a big deal.  Just say no.  Your daughter is old enough to go to NYC to celebrate so she’s not a baby.  How old is she?

We stopped having the relatives visiting for the kids birthdays when they were in mid elementary.  Each side came on separate weekends, for two different celebrations, because competing grandmas wanted all of the attention. It stopped when the kids got older and it was obvious they loved their grandparents but weren’t as over the moon excited they came for their birthdays.  Now they send a card and call and that’s it for birthdays.  My kids plan birthday parties with friends and we see extended family at other times in the year.  [/quote]

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