Reply to help my kid learn to be nicer on text

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn’t intended to be mean or trollish but I’ll be honest - You seem very impulsive in your responses here on this thread yourself. Reactive. Perhaps she gets that from you? I have adhd and when in the wrong mood can be rather thoughtless in my responses too. My best friend is more hyperactive adhd than me and oh boy some stuff she says on text …

You could have her read her responses outloud after sending (or before preferably ) and see if that gives her food for thought. If she will engage with that process with you which she likely won’t.

I’d let her face the consequences - she wil learn after a few fights and lose friendships. The more you read of her messages the more you will get worked up. Spot check every couple weeks instead and limit her time on it. [/quote]

Op here again. How it went yesterday: she heard me out. She took a break. My husband and I talked about it alone after our kids were asleep. He would like to take a period where she steps away from the phone. We’ll keep it most of the day, and she can have it for texting friends directly and for making plans. Not for chatting all day long.

So she hasn’t lost her phone, but we’re pulling it back.

I think what I see a potentially embarrassing for her is others seeing the extent of her immaturity. She is younger than all of them with a summer birthday.

In person, she blends in. We can’t let her do this to herself just as we would not let her do an embarrassing showcase on a middle school stage. And before we give her the phone back fully, the three of us need to have some conversations. She knows legal issues, she knows bullying or dangerous issues. She knows about annoying spammers on group chat. She doesn’t realize *social* issues and manners apply. Kids are not typically worried about manners amongst each other, but it applies to group texting: not screenshotting, and holding back some comments.

Thanks everyone.[/quote]

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