Reply to 18 year old son and request for larger basement room

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[quote=Anonymous][b][/quote]
"Why the hell would marry someone like that? What a horrible position you have put your son in! Since you mention you have younger children with this man, I assume, he has been in your/your older son's life for many years? Was your husband any nicer to your son when he was younger?"[/quote][/b]

I guess I should have been more clear about the relationship between my husband and son. Before we got married and before we had our first child together, who was extremely colicky, my husband and my son had a better relationship. My son was 10 when we started dating and they did get along then and actually seemed to have fun together, however that was short-lived when our first child was born. My oldest son was used to just he and I for the first 10 years of his life, so it was quiet and he was happy with how his environment was. Then it was turned totally upside down when I remarried, had more children and moved him to another home. He did know that I wanted to remarry and have more children as I discussed it with him beforehand. He has always been mature for his age and understand things at a younger age than I thought he would.

Neither my husband nor my son are without fault in the relationship as it is a two way street, so to speak. I believe my son resents the fact that I remarried, had more children and disrupted his quiet life. My husband thinks I baby my son and have let him get away with more than I should have. He also feels I choose my son over him in certain situations. That's probably true because he's my son and I felt I always had to make up for his biological father's mistakes.

Anyway, the more I think about it the more I think he deserves the bigger room because he has overcome a lot not only since I remarried, but even before that when we moved around so much. I know he will only be here another year or two before he decides to go away to finish college. He said if I let him have the larger room he would do all the moving of furniture and cleaning of each room. I still haven't made a firm decision, but I did tell him he has to continue to keep things as clean as possible.

Someone else mentioned the cleanliness of my other children's room. You're right, it's far from being clean and we're working on that. My husband isn't the best at remembering to clean either, so I remind him he can't have a double standard. He really likes that reminder! Our family isn't perfect, far from it of course, but who's family is perfect?[/quote]

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