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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all for the helpful advice.

We would take child for ADHD testing for sure.

Three main things I am debating about are

1. Take away or set severe limits on the extracurricular unless grades improve or child putting enough work that shows improvement is visible in homework/tests. But I am debating why take away the kids strength? Would it be even more harmful in some unknown way.

But and this is probably the more pertinent one, is taking away the extracurricular would lead to a big blow up.

2. Is there any way to remediate the F - as in taking the credit recovery? Would the F be reduced to something like a D.

3. How common is an F? Is it something like say drunk driving arrest for adults or even something worse or say speeding ticket in terms of severity? Put another way, what is the right level of panic we should be feeling?

We knew child is not going to a top 100 college. Child aim is colleges in the 120 - 180 range. Is this even on the cards now?

I do understand the feedback and none of it is harsh. I think all of you are being very kind and somewhat gentle in fact. [/quote]

As to #1, only you know your child and your relationship with him. Of course he isn't going to like having anything he likes taken away, let along something he's passionate about and loves. Depending on him and your relationship, you could have a serious sit-down chat first and explain what's going to happen, as well as what's going to happen if those things don't happen. If you can't bring yourself to take away the extracurricular (I empathize -- with one of our kids who hated school, low confidence and other issues, taking away the one thing they did enjoy and were successful in was precisely the wrong thing to do to. I don't think our situations are the same, however) -- anyway, if you can't bring yourself to do that or there is a real chance he will rebel and start doing worse in other areas, then start with something else. If it isn't taking away some privilege, then it is DOING specific things to get back on track with his math (repeating the class, getting a tutor and/or following a set schedule of math practice - with that tutor or even Khan Academy or other free option; overseeing his math homework every night - if he doesn't do it, no extracurricular the next day; etc.) If he doesn't follow the plan, privileges start going away - and you can start "small" to see how he reacts to that.

I'm not sure why so many are focusing on ADHD, given this is one specific class in a subject he has previously earned A's in. A to F is a real drop. I'm the one who previously posted about the possibility he just intentionally gave up because it was hard and didn't want to be a failure (due to his own inability). You report his other grades remained fine. So if it isn't that, it is clearly something about Alg2 or about this particular class (group of kids) or this particular teacher.

You don't indicate what communications you've had with his teacher throughout the year or what they think may be the issue. If it really is a matter of believing it's not important because the GPA is the biggest thing, then (1) he needs to learn that's not entirely true, that colleges look at your whole courseload and grades to see what you've taken and how well you've done; and that A to F in math is going to really stand out and pose a big "WHY?" Math is cumulative; so if he thinks he will just jump back in with the next course, he should rethink that. He really does need to retake Alg2 whether it's over the summer or during the next school year.  (2) You might want to try appealing to the idea that it isn't about a specific GPA, rather the integrity and benefits of striving to do your best or giving your best effort to everything you do. It's about character and values; learning; getting the best education he can and becoming an educated person; learning that you have to do a lot of crap you don't enjoy or aren't the best at in order to do what you like in life; etc.

Re #2, as I suggested above, he needs to retake the course. Not just a matter of getting a D instead of an F, but to be properly prepared for the next level math class. Even if he doesn't intend to take another one in high school, I guarantee you he will then have to take one in college.

Re #3, you don't have to "panic" at all at this point. If things worsen and his other grades start going down or you see his enthusiasm or effort in other areas (particularly in anything and everything except his extracurricular passion), then you step up the seriousness of it all accordingly. Don't let "panic" or your anxiety show through to him; but definitely ensure he knows you take it seriously and expect him to do the same.

Finally, if he doesn't make it into the 120-180 schools --- SO WHAT??!! He will find his way in life. It may not be the way you hoped or dreamed or envisioned as the parent. It may be a more difficult path for him; but he will learn from that.  How do I know? Because I'm experiencing that as the parent right now. Our kid has found a way to pursue what he apparently has really always wanted to do despite doing poorly (far below his ability and talents) in school and his hard work trying to figure out a way that does not involve college. Finally decided it will involve college, didn't get in to an 90% acceptance rate state college and decided to do the 2 years at community college with guaranteed admission to state university to finish the 4 years. Not how we envisioned or hoped when we became parents; but happy to save the tuition and very happy he's going to college and happy in his chosen area (so far, anyway!). Not only that, after his first year, he has a 3.8 GPA.

Tell your son the reason we believe ours did not get accepted into the state university - despite meeting minimum GPA expectations - is his lack of college prep classes in high school, including not going beyond Alg2 in math.[/quote]

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