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Reply to "Therapist says we are busy doing and not feeling"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At the second family therapy session the therapist said I hear a lot about what you are doing but not what you are feeling on a day to day basis. All of our issues are follow through, action-oriented implementation issues which then result in feelings because something went wrong and someone gets stressed and then communication breaks down. Someone didn't clean something up, didn't pay something on time etc. I don't really understand her assertion that somehow we should be feeling so much on a given day though so it's hard to respond to her. It's not like I don't have regular feelings, I just don't have strong feelings on a given day. If things are going well I feel mostly content and if things are not going well I feel somewhat stressed. I don't really feel anger and joy on a regular basis. I generally stay within the green and yellow zones of regulation. It has to be something really strong to feel really sad, mad, or joyous. Is there something I should be feeling on a regular basis in these columns? Why does it seem like this person thinks we should feel more on a standard day where work was ok, dinner happened, kids got to classes, and all that happened was a water bottle went missing. If no one dies or I don't get a promotion I don't see the reason to be in these zones.[/quote] Honestly, screw therapists. Most are so harmful to people and their relationships. They are meddlesome shits and most are so effed up in their own lives they have no business counseling others. [/quote] Well I'm sure she has a point that I have to meet my kids emotionally more but I just wish it was at a different place like perhaps meeting on things they care about and want support on rather than the dishes for the night. I'm tired of something like the dishes being an emotionally charged activity [/quote] But as someone said earlier, they are bottling up their emotional needs and it is coming out at the wrong time. Y’all are out of sync in terms of emotions [/quote] Probably true. Adhd tends to have dysregulated emotion. But I don't think the answer is be more emotional about washing your dish as a teenager. Its more about voicing your emotional needs with some calmness and fulfilling your own emotional needs to me.[/quote]
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