Reply to Concerns about sister's behavior as a step-mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, the step-child is old enough to have email. Give her your email address and phone #. Next time you hug her goodbye look her straight in the eyes and say, "I want you to know I see what's going on, and it's not your fault. I'm working on stuff for you behind the scenes to help, it's going to take time, but you need to carry in your heart that you're not alone, and what she's doing is wrong and it's in no way your fault, okay?"

Plant that seed for her. She may need to cling to that seed for dear life. But then really DO go work on this. Screw your sister - you'll have your other siblings. I'm the family member in my family with the big mouth. There's no passive-aggressive bullshit with me, and I don't let people get away with treating anyone like shit in front of me. [/quote]

PP, the stepdaughter may not take the initiative and contact the aunt in this case. The aunt has been a witness to the abuse for years, and hasn't protected the child. For her to offer the child a lifeline now would be confusing. Her niece has probably also internalized some of the negativity by now, so that would also make it harder for her to seek help.

OP, you have to do something. You really do. If the abuse weren't so blatant, the "you're not in this situation so you don't understand how hard it is" would make sense, but not in this case.

Another note: Your sister seems to be very troubled, and your reactions to this situation don't resonate great mental health either. It wouldn't be a bad idea if you were to consider counseling for yourself.[/quote]

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