Reply to When did you know you were ready to get married?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course there are people who are ready to get married before they meet the right person. It’s like saying you’re ready to go to college before you know where you’re committing. Or you’re ready to purchase a house before you actually put in an offer. It means you’re of a certain state of mind and ready for the next step in life.[/quote]

OP Here:
This is exactly what I mean on the question!

I have checked all my boxes that I objectively wanted before marriage (finish undergrad, finish grad school, pay off all debt, promote to a certain level, hit a certain net worth), and I've dated casually the last ~10 years. A couple people, looking back, that would have been incredible spouses but just not the right time. I got out of a long relationship last year because 1) I couldn't see myself marrying that person and 2) i didn't really know if I wanted marriage period.

Now I'm rethinking it all. What *really* matters in a spouse? Being in my 30's, the choices are much fewer.  The qualities and must-haves seem like a far stretch, and I just dont have the interest in stringing along anyone that I dont think is right for me.

I feel like im in the "i can do it all myself but life would be so much more fun with someone to enjoy the chaos with".[/quote]

I was 26 and realized I had done all the single things I wanted to do. I think started dating more seriously AND did some really hard thinking about myself. When I met my husband it was a slow burn very comfortable thing.
I really tried hard to be objective about who I am and what I valued in life. I’m still not a 100% sure but spending some time thinking about who I really am (a vanilla homebody who likes to bake read and hike and wanted kids) and who I presented to the world as a single person (loves going out to clubs and traveling) weren’t really the same. It took me a while in my early 20s to figure that out.

Met my husband at 27 and got married at 30- it is been pretty good for 16 years. ;)[/quote]

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