Reply to How much say parents should've in matters of marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How are the two even connected? No, and don’t use money to control your adult children. It’s unbecoming. [/quote]

In many communities, marriage represents a major milestone and life event that is an important marker on the path to adulthood. E.g., for Christians marriage is the win and daughter leaving their respective families to become one. And while financial support for married children is commonplace, I know lots of families who would take the position that if you are going to be married you should absolutely try to stand on your own rather than coming out of the gate with financial support.

Perhaps in our specific situation the families would have continued paying tuition but not living costs. We never fully explored it. Either way, with 20 years to look back on things, I respect and appreciate the position that was staked out. I really appreciate the sequencing that took place.

Perhaps it’s a different convo if we’d been much older and then gone back to school. But guiding a mid-20s couple toward: graduate first marry, thereafter was solid advice. Remember, we could have chosen to marry any ways we just would have been on our own. And maybe that really says it all. If your parents withdrawing financial support makes it untenable for you to marry, should you really be marrying?[/quote]

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