Reply to Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am hoping to get my rising 7th grader a little wardrobe refresh over the summer. She is finally connecting with a nice group of girls after a couple years of struggling socially, and after a lot of effort on her end to get out of her comfort zone. My dd does not care about fashion trends - she still wears flip sequin shirts and native shoes, for example. She doesn't wear hoodies or leggings or crop tops or jeans. I am glad she is not motivated by status symbols, but I was wondering if there were some things I could get for her that might mix her taste with current trends. DH wants to get her a couple band t shirts bc they are starting to bond over a few groups, so we may start there. She likes flare pants/ joggers and loves soft fabrics and graphics. I would love suggestions for pieces and even more so - outfits she can put together.  She is slender- still mostly in children's Large sizes. [/quote]

Oh wow, OP, there is so much to unpack here, but please, please, please stop pushing your child to be friend with kids that aren't necessarily her people. My mom was a lot like you and I really hated this about her. She has always been so focused on status and I was just not made to be the kid that she wanted. Don't be that mom. Let her do her own thing.[/quote]

OP here- I get it. I do not need her to be "cool." She is bummed when she sits alone at lunch, though she is so sweet- "it's OK, Mom, I am reading a really good book." The girls she has gathered with are all very socially on the same level. She invited them for a pool party for the end of school (this was her big moment where she asked people over she had never socialized with) and they were all playing pretend games and four square. They were very polite and exchanged book recommendations. They sent thank you notes after. This is not a "cool" group of girls. My daughter would not wear many of the things mentioned, but she also hates shopping and asks me to just pick things for her. She would not wear jean shorts or crocs or white sneakers or crop tops but I am just looking for ideas that would fall in the range of things she does like. [/quote]

I'm the first PP who said to tread lightly. I can see that you mean well, OP, and appreciate more what you are doing after your thoughtful replies. I guess I would still say, she did make friends with this group, dressing the way she does, so maybe don't worry too much about it. I just wouldn't bring attention to it and make her self-conscious about it and especially not mentally tie her wardrobe to her sitting alone at lunch reading a book. I do think it's a good idea to take the suggestions here and from the photos of classmates and buy the things that look like something she would wear, and of course return what she doesn't like. But I would really make an effort not to turn it into a big thing.[/quote]

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