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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Big kids, bigger problems” is a really crappy phrase that you should stop saying, OP. It’s super dismissive of the problems of any of the people around you who have smaller kids. I would bet you thought your kids problems were important when you were experiencing them. Don’t be a crap friend.[/quote]

YKW, the OP is not necessarily being dismissive if we are talking about mental health/substance abuse. When your DC is under 18, you as the parent are part of the decisions so the doctors fill you in on everything that is happening with your child. When they are over 18, it all goes out the window unless you have papers in place. And even then, your what might be barely adult DC needs to give permission each time, each time, each time. Some doctors, nurses, hospitals have more generous understandings while others will shut the door in your face if your DC hasn't consented for you to be informed. The manifestation of your child's mental illness may be destroying them through delusions, hallucinations, etc, turning them against the very people trying to assist them. It may be evident for all to see, but if your child hasn't provided consent, well, you watch the destruction right in front of you while the doctors and administrators say "HIPAA" over and over. Just imagine what it is like when your adult DC is in jail for an act they allegedly committed when not medicated. The cops really don't give a shit. Just ask the relatives of all the dead people killed by cops during an episode. So, yeah, that's a big problem.

There are some people who don't recognize problems until they occur to them, so they are crap friends. But that goes either way, when a kid is 6 or a kid is 26. One of the first posters here mocked OP's post, clearly with no understanding of the challenges of parenting an adult child who may have a MI, substance abuse, or the even more confounding dual diagnosis of both.

No one here is saying that the problems of smaller kids are not of consequence, simply that those problems may take on additional challenges when one's big kid (18+) is afflicted.

Wishing the best to everyone on here, Appreciate the candor and thinking of you and your children.[/quote]

Great post. No diminishing of any parent’s struggle, with any age child. But there is a unique challenge in parenting a child at 18+ with severe issues, where you are providing daily care & essential support.[/quote]

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