Reply to Who is unreasonable here: Friend A or Friend B?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, ignore the people who are mad about you buying the treadmill. That's beside the point.

I want to really break down your friend's behavior here, to understand what about it is problematic.

It is fine she asked for the treadmill for free. She didn't know your precise situation. It never hurts to ask.

But you said no, you needed to sell it, because the money was important for your move. She heard this, right? You said "no, I can't give it to you, I need the money," right?

And then she proceeded to ignore your "no" and plead and harass you about it for months. THIS is the problematic behavior. Not her wanting the treadmill for free. Who cares what her finances are. Who cares what your finances are. The point is that she asked, you said no, she refused to accept that.

And then when your buyer backed out, was she empathetic? Did she care how this would impact you negatively? Was she even apologetic when she "offered" again to take it for free? I sense no. She was victorious. She got what she wanted.

Ignore the financial factors here. They feel important but they are not. I have seen a friendship play out like this even when the pair have the same finances.

She is not merely a user or an opportunity. She is aggressive. She does not see you as a person in the same way she thinks of herself as a person. You are a resource from which she can extract what she wants-- companionship, stuff. She will never treat you as an equal. She does not respect you or care for you.

Move on. People like this just cause strife over and over. You will never get out of this relationship what you put in.[/quote]

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