Reply to Has anyone else never “found their people” as an adult?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Has anyone else never “found their people” as an adult? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You've had some bad luck. Not having your people is a result of things out of your control. Moving so often in high school, COVID in college, going to a college and first job that weren't a fit (ok, that's a little in your control but you were guided that way and doing what you were told was the right thing). There's really no way you'd have people at this point.
You're correctly feeling behind on this front. But I think you need to take control. Move somewhere you want to live, get a job doing something you want to do. Proactively seek out a mate. I'd focus on that, not friends. If you find a great guy and start a life together, you'll make friends much more easily than making friends on your own. And when you have kids, it gets even easier. 
Controversial take- I think 20-somethings are getting bad mental health care. I applaud so many in this generation seeking therapy and I 100% agree with medication. [b]But there's too much time dissecting and re-living and constantly analyzing the emotions. I'd consider LESS therapy, not more.[/b] Find the medication that works to stabilize your moods and keep thoughts of self-harm at bay, but keep it to a minimum beyond that[/quote]

I agree with those especially because OP has tried extensive therapy (which was a good proactive way to address these issues). But the biggest thing is moving forward and concrete steps to get there so you are not living in the past. You need to move away from your parents and get a job. I posted above - it doesn't need to be an amazing job, your living expenses at this stage are low.

I am also Asian American btw. I have a great relationship with my parents but could not have lived with them healthily in my 20s. I was going out, dating, staying out late, showing up to work later sometimes (living!) and none of that would have gone over okay. A bit of distance and independence (and not hearing constant commentary and disapproval) is everything.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics