Reply to Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage

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Reply to "Undergoing IVF in a Rocky Marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a baby in a bad marriage for similar reasons and don’t regret it for 1 second. I am so happy being a mom and she and I have an amazing relationship (she is 3).

I still hate my husband but have made peace with NOT having “the whole package” and that will be key for you in my opinion if you choose to move forward. [/quote]

I agree with this.  Life is never perfect.  Husbands aren't, kids aren't.

Give up on the perfect life, try to calm yourself, and have a baby.  For many, the kids is the most important goal.

I have a friend who gave up IVF and adopted.  Her marriage was ok at the time.  Everything went spectacularly south when the kids were in elementary school.  One kid has anxiety and struggles in school, the other is hyperactive.  My friend is am educated, intelligent, compassionate person.

My main point is, relationships are kind of a dice roll anyway.  In the situation you're in, you know what you're facing.  To give that up for an unknown that could be better or worse doesn't make sense to me.

2nd best is to do a bunch of egg freezing, divorce, and try to find a better partner for your needs.  But men don't usually like biological clock pressure.

I'm assuming single motherhood doesn't meet your "want it all" threshold.

I believe there is some chance that the IVF process is worse for your relationship and stress than having a baby.
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