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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I don’t see diagnosing kids or describing their bad behavior as part of my friendship duties, [/b]unless I’m explicitly asked what I think.

In fact if I’m explicitly asked something general by a friend like this I’d probably say something like “I love Larla and you so much, it would be hard for me to be impartial. This sounds really stressful, I’m sorry you’re going through it.”

Or idk some better version of that, more specific or whatever. Just turn it to whatever is positive and true about the kid and focus on supporting your friend through a very hard moment which is surely very hard for any parent and she is probably acting in good faith even if she is wrong. [/quote]

The bolded, 100%.  Unless you are actually trained in diagnosing kids you have no business doing so.  What I would say (since it is true) is that I'd recommend asking what the school plans to provide (it could be beneficial even if the parent doesn't like the school's label), and recommend your friend ask for an neuropsych eval (if the school is labeling the kid the darn well better be diagnosing them too).  I personally have known several kids whose parents have shared their child's diagnosis and I've had zero idea from knowing the kid that there was a diagnosis.  Some kids it was obvious, a lot I just thought were quirky.  This just goes to show that knowing the kid casually does NOT make you an expert in whether the child should have a diagnosis.  With my own kids, none of whom have a diagnosis, i have nevertheless found it helpful to try a lot of different parenting approaches, some of which I've learned from friends who parent kids with a diagnosis.  So your friend could learn something even if the school isn't 100% correct.  [/quote]

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