Reply to Ranting about ex wife introducing our kids to her boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP. You are entitled to this rant.[/quote]

Thank you. I just wonder what is going to go through my kids minds as they navigate this. And I don't want to say much because in the state I am in I rather not say much.[b] I have discussed with the ex for us to get them to see therapists even before she decides to introduce them but she went on a tirade about how they don't need therapy and that they will be fine etc[/b] [/quote]

Your feelings about the AP -when I read this post all I could say was ooof, that’s rough.  However you definitely need to keep it classy for the kids and maintain a good co-parenting relationship as much as possible.

Now I do disagree with ex on giving the kids an option for therapy.  My parents had a very tumultuous divorce and it deeply impacted us.  For me I had so much anger and feeling like I was abandoned and it impacted both the relationship with my parent that married their AP and how I formed romantic relationships when I was younger.  It was also a difficult situation as a child having the space to navigate my emotions because you love your parents but at the same time you might feel hurt and unable to separate actions of a parent vs their actions as a spouse that also have an impact on the stability of the family unit. I couldn’t talk thru any of this with my parents as a child because it is such a parent/authority figure, no nuance or criticism type relationship at that age.  I wish that I had the option for a neutral 3rd party.  I don’t know how you can push other to to say that you want your kids to have better tools to handle situations than maybe both of you may have had and to give them the space to deal with confusion, anger, fear whatever without feeling like there are sides and they can’t love you both.  I want to think/hope your ex doesn’t think they handled things the best way and as they say once you know better you do better with your kids.  Giving them the tools to communicate and work thru things with a therapist is a way of doing better for your kids as a parent.

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This has to be an AI. [/quote]

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