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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I met a woman through the sport we both play, and we hung out a few times.  Nothing awful happened, but it was became clear we weren't a match.  Among other things, I was turned off when, after I asked her to get together, she invited two other women that we know through the sport and changed the restaurant reservation number (which I made) without telling me - I found out when I got there.  And she clearly became friendlier with these other women.  I was happy to continue being casually friendly when we see see each other out and about, and she seemed to be as well.  She is not a horrible person, just not for me. 
However, now, one of my closest friends has met her through a different activity, and is inviting her to many of our group get togethers.  I don't dislike her, but it feels very awkward to be together with her this much, as we have tried a friendship and found that it was not for either of us (perfectly ok).  Any suggestions on how to handle?  [/quote]

Some women are emotionally-incompetent steamrollers, and she sounds like one of them. They grab social power and "take charge" (often because they have little or no actual power in their lives). Changing a reservation and inviting others without communicating is exactly this sort of behavior.

A lot of these women are on this board, and will say things like "the more, the merrier!" Yes, when you're hosting or doing the inviting, sure. Or, if you communicate with the person who created the invitation "hey, do you mind if I invite Jane and Sue, too?" that's also totally fine. But hijacking an event and acting like the president or queen of things is socially-dysfunctional behavior that often indicates future control dramas.

Is it "horrible"? No. But it's gauche. How do you handle someone you don't want to be friends with? Be polite but not friendly. If your closest friend is into this new person, that's fine. They get to choose who they hang out with. Either continue going to group events and be kind but not overly warm to "Sally" or whoever, or decline and suggest a different time to meet with your friend.

But you're not wrong about not wanting to get closer to this person. They sound problematic af.[/quote]

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