Reply to Easier for men to get in shape than women over 40

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with everyone saying you need to do the things OP's DH is doing if you want results -- lifting weights, doing high intensity workouts, and eating high protein diets with lots of veggies (and limiting or eliminating things like alcohol, highly processed foods, refined sugars).

But I will say that it truly is hard to build muscle mass as a woman. I work out MUCH more than my DH and lift heavy weights. I work out 5 days a week and four of those are strength focused workouts with heavy weights (one day a week of yoga or barre for balance). I am also more active on a day to day basis with a more physical job. My DH works a sedentary job, never lifts weights, and works out once or twice a week with relatively low-impact cardio, usually a bike ride.

We eat the exact same diet, which is pretty high protein and tons of veggies. We both like dessert, but he drinks alcohol (1-2 beers a night) and I do not.

I'd like to say I'm fitter than he is but I don't even know if it's true. Even with literally no weight training at all, his upper body is way, way stronger than mine is even lifting heavy 4x a week. I'm strong, certainly stronger than the average woman my size (5'4", 120 lb), but he's still way stronger than I am, doing nothing. He's not dong incidental exercise around the house either.

He has a little bit of a gut, not huge but bigger than he'd like (he complains about it) but that's it. He could probably stand to do some of the core work I do. But otherwise, I think he's still in better shape than I am. And he does almost nothing!

It genuinely is frustrating. I'm happy with my progress and like how my body looks but it really does show how hormones and genetics play a role. If my DH followed my workout regimen and quit alcohol, he could be in a Marvel movie. Meanwhile I look... pretty good. Above average. That's it. I'd probably have to double what I'm doing to get the same results.[/quote]

The same here. As a woman, I lift as heavy as I can tolerate five days a week, and I look fit but definitely not ripped. I wonder if women with 6-pack abs and big biceps in their 40s+ achieve that look in part because they are taking things like testosterone.  [/quote]

Men just start with this baseline muscle mass, too, that women do not have. Women have to build up muscle mass before they can even begin, and it can take time and a special diet.

Just to give a concrete example -- I have been working out with a trainer 4x a week (plus additional workouts at home on my own) for about two years. Let's take just one exercise -- a standing chest fly with dumbbells. The first time my trainer had me do this, I did them with 5lb weights or resistance bands. I tried to do them with 8 lb weights and I could not get through one rep with good form, so we had to move down in weight. I can now do short sets with 20 lb weights (like maybe 3 sets of 3 reps each, though by the last set I will be very fatigued and very possible I will only get through one good rep before I have to put them down) or I can do higher reps with 12 or 15 lb weights. This is after two years of doing these multiple times week with a trainer.

Yesterday I was working out and my DH, who eats a lot of junk, drinks tons of beer and has the belly to show for it, and literally NEVER works out, came in the room and did a set of 10 standing chest flies with my 25lb weights, put them down, and left. I asked him later if he felt fatigued and he said he could feel it a little in his arms but that's it.

And that's the difference. He has enough muscle mass just by existing, without making any effort to build muscle, that he can beat my strength goals by like 10x with no effort or preparation. That's the advantage men have over women when it comes to strength training.

Now, he's tried to do my core workout with me and gave up after like 90 seconds so I'm not saying he's in better shape than me. But if he wanted to get in good shape, I think he'd get there really quickly. It just helps so much to have this base of muscle mass to draw on to get you over that initial hump of even being able to physically do certain exercises, and helping you have good form. It's a big leg up.[/quote]

No one expects women to have the same muscle mass or strength as a man. It's a fundamental biological difference.

At the same time though, women have much higher body fat % and it is healthy. A BF% for women of 25% may be perfectly healthy, but for a man it could be deadly because it is associated with more visceral fat and unhealthy lifestyle.  Men need to work hard to get an even lower BF %, which is optimal for health. [/quote]

Right, I'm not saying anyone expects women to have the same muscle mass. I'm saying men just start with more muscle mass and it makes it easier for them to get fit. Even if women do the exact same thing. Being physically stronger even before any effort has gone into it makes it easier for a man in his 40s who decided "I'm going to get fit" to do so, because even coming right off the couch, he will likely be able to physically do a lot more stuff than a woman in the same situation.

I think women in middle age often hit early walls when it comes to getting in shape, because they have to start from 0 with strength and endurance, and that is very defeating. It's why women often get stuck lifting with low weights, or gravitate towards "easier" exercise, whereas men getting in shape are much more likely to go straight to lifting and high impact workouts. Because for the men, that *is* easier than going to a 1-hour pilates class. It's much more efficient. But for a woman, going straight to lifting and high impact workouts is harder because she's going to have to start with pretty low weights and will fatigue faster and it's going to take a while to just get to a baseline level of health to where she really starts to see substantial results. Whereas men can start to see results immediately.

I think the ideal situation for women is to start training with weights and HIIT when they are young, so they have a little more of a basis. It will not recreate the natural muscle mass men start with, but it gives you something to build off of. It's really, really hard to start from scratch as a woman in your 40s, even if you have done a lot of cardio in the past and are doing other things right in terms of diet. I think this is why so many women in their 40s get frustrated with fitness.[/quote]

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