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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother lied in the earlier stages to try to hide her capacity. Overstating what she could do, blaming others for things to cover up her forgetfulness, etc.  It was an effort to facilitate her own denial and stress and in some areas she believed her own lies (ie insisting my dad or I changed computer settings and passwords instead of admitting she could not remember how to use it).[/quote]
This is what I've mostly seen as well. A friend of mine's parents are still at home but declining rapidly. She does everything for them. Goes to their home every day, gets all their groceries, medications, drives them to bridge, dr appts etc. Her mom is telling other people that the children are basically neglectful. They do their own groceries. She goes for a walk every day. Calls their own plumbers/etc. None of this is true. She told a family member this who relayed it to my friend, obviously concerned since she also knew this wasn't true. It really really hurt my friend. She is giving up 75% of her life for them and they are so mean to her and tell everyone how neglectful she is! [/quote]

My husband was called a slumlord by my aunt, telling relatives that he would not fix up the house she rented. In truth, he was the legal bank for her mortgage 20+ years earlier, and she welched on the loan, never paying him a dime, and lying about her income (said the company cut off her pension, which wasn’t true). I found all this out when I was at her home, helping her hospice, because relatives were “so surprised I showed up”. My husband is much nicer than me and just rolled his eyes and chuckled. I wanted to put a pillow over her face, and pride myself on not doing so.[/quote]

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