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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As an example the previous day might be recounted in a way that makes someone at fault for something they didn't do. Stuff like this.[/quote]

Yes. I have one sister that called me and said my mother, who is in a rehab after breaking her knee was very sad because the sister that lives near her (we are 3K miles away) “never visits her and the staff hates her”.  My sister goes there at least every other day and I call constantly, but my mother won’t pick up the phone if she doesn’t want to. The staff doesn’t hate her either - they are just encouraging her to be able to transition from bed to toilet, etc, so she’s not bedridden for her entire rest of her life. She’s always HATED exercise and refused even 20 years ago after a car accident, to do the PT needed, so now she’s much worse off as a result.

She’s also called the nurses in during the night to check on my father, who she said is dead in the bed next to her. My father died last August. She also speaks of my father constantly poking her and not letting her get any rest. Could be the pain pills, could be sundowning, could be a lot of things. She’s lost 50 lbs and is fairly anemic and I suspect that she has something else undiagnosed going on, but she has refused to go to her regular doctor and the staff can only do so much. She was refusing to be transferred in a wheelchair to the orthopedist to check on her knee but the rehab doesn’t give her a choice like her assisted living place did, which is actually a good thing.

NOW my mother wants to move back East where there is more family, but of course, now it’s too late to make that transition because flying would be too difficult, and she’s too afraid, even with medication, to let the staff transfer her from wheelchair to plane chair. I feel sad for my mother, but after five years of trying to get her to move back East and being refused, I don’t have any guilt. I’m still upset that the last time there was a crisis and I went out, I couldn’t leave for 2 months and our old dog had to be put to sleep and I couldn’t be there to say goodbye.

Bottom line is the more siblings, the more disagreement, the more misery, esp when it comes to memory issues, which often brings out stubbornness in those who were previously in denial.[/quote]

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