Reply to How to handle MIL visiting for too long

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you to those of you who have actually offered advice.  To those of you who judged or insulted me, you are reminders of what makes DCUM toxic at times.  You do not know me or any of the other factors/stressors in our family's life, so please move on to another thread if you have nothing constructive to add here.

PP, I have mixed feelings about my MIL.   She is generally pleasant, but also passive-aggressively sucks the air out of every room she enters.  Part of why we had settled on more limited visits was because I do love her and think she deserves respect.  I therefore want to preempt situations that I know will surely turn ugly.  My mother died recently, so that is also compounding some of my feelings in this situation.[/quote]

OP, I feel your pain - my own mother is an American living in Europe, and she pushes for visits longer than I can handle nearly every time she visits. I love her but we get along best at a distance - in person I can only take so many days of hearing how everything I do is wrong, every opinion I have is wrong, etc. For now the best I can manage is a weeklong visit, so I congratulate you on being gracious enough to do two with your MIL. My mom is a good grandma and I like having her visit to spend time with my kids, but by the end of day four or five I am usually ready to lose it, and I have learned through therapy and trial and error that it is okay for me to prioritize my own mental health. You can be a good person and a good daughter in law and say no/set limits.

I am very sorry for the loss of your mother - perhaps this is a point you might emphasize when you talk with your husband about his mother visiting? [/quote]

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