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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for the replies.

The long visit is nothing new for me/us.  She comes every year, but usually for only 2 weeks since I had managed to make that a compromise visit length in previous years.  We also visit her every year, usually for around 10 days.  And for those who implied that I was depriving her of her grandchildren, I forgot to mention that my husband and our daughter just returned THIS WEEK from visiting her for 9 days.

<b>Part of what is bugging me is that this new, longer visit seems like backing out on a prior understanding that 2 weeks was the max I could handle while remaining good natured about it and without taking a toll on my marriage, our work lives, our kids' routines, etc. </b> Personally, I would prefer 1 week twice per year but, given the international travel, had made my peace with 2 week visits instead.  I also resent the pretense of being "asked" if the three weeks is OK, when really we are being told it will happen.[/quote]

Ah, well now if this is the issue, then it is the issue between you and DH. What is his argument for changing the arrangement?[/quote]

OP, I married an Asian person - long visits are customary.  Every couple years, DH's parents come for six months.  It makes me crazy, but that is part of the deal when you marry someone whose family is mostly abroad.  I don't look forward to the next visit, but I know how much my DH misses home and his family.  He basically gave up any opportunity to return home to stay with me, knowing I won't move abroad. Thing about what it must be like to pick up and make a new country your home without your family - 3 weeks a year (or six months every couple years) is really not much in return.

One thing to keep in mind - as his parents get older, the shorter trips are going to become harder.  DH's parents are older, so traveling around the world for a month is just too much for them.  The journey is physically exhausting for them in a way that it isn't for me. It takes time for them to acclimate to things here, get over jet lag, etc - younger people can bounce back, older people might have a harder time.

[/quote]

PP, I posted earlier (mentioned about in-laws with an expectation to live with us once they can move to the US). Out of curiosity, do you have this expectation in your situation as well, or your DH's parents likely will not move to the US? [/quote]

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