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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My father died and I cannot even truly cry anymore. He gets angry at me when I’m sad or when I cry and God forbid I ever call him out on hurting me express to him to do something differently.

Everything is met with at least denial and more frequently emotional hostility.

Yesterday we were at Mosaic and sitting and people watching. After battling infertility for 3 years, I’m triggered by watching all the mothers with their children. I felt bitter and angry and sad. I said it annoys me how smug everyone looks having reproduced and how it’s triggering me that it’s possible for everyone one to have a baby so easily.

Instead of comforting me, he was like stop it. You’re being a sourpuss. And how I can’t just keep playing victim and I need to move on and be happy.

He couldn’t even try to show me some empathy!

Then he stone walled me for 1 hour and I didn’t speak to him either, not wanting to be the one to talk first. He says he will take me home since I’m in such a bad mood and walked off.

I followed him to the car.

I came home and cried myself to sleep.

This morning he was mad at me again because I was sad. He said he doesn’t care that I’m sad since I’m ruining everyone’s vibes and it will be better for me to not go to MILs Mother’s Day dinner.

This was after I had just gotten out of the shower intending to get ready to go, then he says ok I’m leaving in 10 mins if you’re not dressed then I’m leaving. I tell him to calm down and stop talking to me like that. He says I’m screaming at him and he will not tolerate it and he is ordering me to stop.

Finally he left without me.

I’ve been crying my eyes out in the dark of my bedroom.

[/quote]
NP, I havent read the comments yet.

So, a few things. 
1) You've been dealing with infertility for 3 years, I think it's quite likely he is tired of dealing with this. Why would you go people watch on mothers day if you know you are triggered by mothers? That does sound really annoying, especially if it's been going on this long! Has he shown empathy in the past? Maybe he is just tired of you ruining all outings with your attitude? If you can't see a child or parent without breaking down, that doesn't sound enjoyable at all. For anyone.

2) Your language is so interesting. You make it sound like he is abusing you and doing things to you, but you are doing the same thing. The different language you use shows how you think you are in the right for doing it, but he's in the wrong. 
Ex: [i]he stone walled me for 1 hour and I didn’t speak to him either[/i] - so he is stonewalling you (bad!) but you arent speaking to him because youre justified, and just dont want to be the one to speak first (fine in your opinion).

Ex2: [i]I tell him to calm down and stop talking to me like that / he is ordering me to stop[/i] - So you're allowed to "order him" to calm down and stop talking like that, but he isn't allowed to "order you" to stop yelling at him?

Also, you ruined the entire day with this, and then you still ruined the next day too? Because you saw some people with babies?

Infertility is tough. It sucks. But you cannot take it out on your husband or the rest of the world. You need therapy, stat. [/quote]

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