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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've grown increasingly worried that my 2.5 year old daughter might have some behavioral challenges, but I don't know possibly what.

Kiddo has always been a handful -

1. Very picky eater (sometimes barely eats due to stubbornness and at times I just have to feed her otherwise she won't eat),

2. Always fights at bedtime (screaming, sometimes hitting, wakes up in the early morning hours screaming for one of us and occasionally will bang head on the wall/door). Only ever wants to sleep while touching one of us.

3. Doesn't play well with older sibling - hits, headbutts, throws toys, screams, rarely shares

4. Always crying and hanging on me to pick her up. Very difficult for me to try and do anything because I can't have bodily autonomy.

5. Flies into a full tantrum over the simplest things - full body flailing to the ground, kicking legs, hitting arms, screaming. I'm worried she will hit her head and injure herself.

I'm very exhausted after years of this. My older was never like this in any way.

I feel like we need to get an evaluation of some sort but I am completely lost and don't know where to begin.

Not sure if this is all normal anyways or if it sounds like something, and if so, merely curious as to what from experienced parents.

Thank you for reading from a very tired mom 😞[/quote]

I feel your exhaustion. The symptoms described are often caused by trauma of some sort. —single mother [/quote]

There hasn't been any trauma, though. Been with me every single day of her life. Rarely been out of my sight. Only times she is away from me is if I need to go out and my husband isn't available to watch, she will stay with my mom/parents for a few short hours.

This is not a regular thing at all.

Never been to daycare, never stayed with my in-laws or her cousins alone.

I genuinely cannot point to any trauma whatsoever.[/quote]
What were her earliest symptoms?
 At what age?[/quote]

Gosh, I'm trying to think back - even though realistically it was *that* long ago, it feels hard to go back in my memory. It's all a blur!

She's been a fussy, fussy sleeper since birth.

We had our older in a co-sleeper until 6 months, transitioned to a pack n play at 6 months, then a crib at 8 months.

Around 18 months is when we got to sleeping through the night with our older. There has been ,ero problems with sleeping since and fine with eating since age 3 (now 6.5 y/o).

Older started talking at 20 months and has been fine ever since. Currently a strong reader and bright.

Younger daughter still at times just talks nonsense but does say some words that I can understand.

I know every kid is different, and so I struggle between wondering if younger kiddo just seems insanely difficult in every aspect because our older was so well behaved and just so much easier.[/quote]

Hi op, to respond to the other poster yes children with trauma can have those behaviors, but other kids can have them without trauma for sure because of plenty other things (ASD, ADHD, anxiety, so many potential things - or just a tough toddler! It will be hard to know for sure at this age). But it does sound outside the norm right now to me and you’re right to get more help and an evaluation. Start with your pediatrician. Then I agree with others to start with childfind or zero to three, I can’t remember what age child find starts. You don’t have to use whatever services they recommend and they do not diagnose but it will give you a sense of there are areas she’s delayed. And they will provide some recommendations. I would start that process right away. Speech sounds potentially delayed from what you mentioned.

There are so many directions to go with this so that is helpful because it will give you an overview and things to consider. Someone mentioned OT and it’s worth considering but child find would give you an OT eval so again good place to start.

Developments ped is one often recommended here, we haven’t used it so I can’t speak to it (my son ended up having adhd but no other developmental delays so it didn’t make the most sense to us).

You can also try to get in with a therapist who specializes in younger kids. We found that the most helpful because she both supported us as parents and helped us figure out what evals we should be doing. An LCSW (licensed clinical social worker, LCPC licensed clinical professional counselor or psychologist are all fine). She also helped us with parent coaching which I do recommend. It’s not because your parenting is a problem or wrong or bad necessarily, it’s because kids who are either spirited or have additional needs often need parenting + in my experience. It kind of sucks but basically you need every tool in your toolbox.

My youngest is way easier and I see how I just don’t need as many tools with him, he responds to the regular basics. But my oldest - gotta keep learning new tips and tricks regularly.

Hang in there this sounds tough!

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