Reply to Are these comments typical for the age, or is my DD a jerk?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s in the range of what you see among kids this age, but it’s something you should definitely work on with your kid. My 4th grader has a few kids in his grade that are like this. [b]Maybe it’s a coincidence, but these same kids seem to have attention/self control issues.[/b] Not sure if they are diagnosed with ADHD but the tendencies seem to be there.

I think a lot of parents assume all kids are inherently “good” and experiences/environment can make them “bad”. I tend to think the opposite. Without guidance from adults, kids will give in to their worst impulses. We have to be proactive to instill kindness, humility, flexibility, and acceptance in our kids. It doesn’t just happen magically. If you don’t actively teach kids these things from a young age, they will be jerks. [/quote]

There's an obvious link -- one component of ADHD is limited impulse control.  So if you see someone breaking the rules, you will have an impulse to say "That's not allowed! He's breaking the rules!"  Some kids are better are suppressing that impulse and thinking about "Does it matter if he breaks that rule?  Is there a nicer way or time to point that out to him?"  The kid with ADHD will think those things too, but sometimes not until the words are already out of his mouth.  I say this as someone with ADHD and two kids with ADHD.  Especially at that age, holding your tongue is often the hardest part.  It's something all kids are working on, but is a bit harder for kids with ADHD.  And kids with ASD have issues with that as well.[/quote]

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