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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are gradually growing into being a fun house, and I wonder a couple of things.

Pro: Enforcing basic house rules about shoes and snacks always seems appropriate to me.  I'm happy to keep the snacks stocked, because [b]they don't consume enough to be expensive [/b]anyway.  If kids start stuffing themselves in ways I know their parents wouldn't like, I stop them and say "You can have this, but you have to take it home with you and eat it there when your parents say it is ok."

Con: Where I'm trying to find my boundaries are with the conflicts.  Arguments and raised voices about who said or did what to whom over this or that.  Wrong combination of kids ending up in the house at the same time and just squabbling or making one another unhappy, or excluding others.

I do think adults should provide some guidance, but it's a delicate balance - hovering is counterproductive when we want them to learn to solve their own problems, and yet they don't always have the tools.

My instinct is usually to stay away as long as possible until it is clear to me that they are not in fact working things out, and then to step in with a quick ruling that it is time to start X game / go outside for a while / remember to be kind.  I don't like to ask about everyone's feelings: it's not my place at that time.  Rather, I try to get them back onto _acting_ productively, and then quietly text a parent later if I sense that one kid has really been upset by the others.

Make me better at this![/quote]

Wait until your kids are older.  My teen sons and their friends can eat $100 worth of food in one afternoon.  :lol: [/quote]

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