Reply to Is it too late for me to ever feel taken care of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. you are not alone.  I have never felt it either.

I knew since I was 18 that I had "raised myself." I have never given my parents any credit as they do not deserve any. [/quote]

OP again. Yes, same. I first started seeing a therapist in my 20s because I was struggling with my career and love life. When my childhood first came up, I just laughed and said "oh I just raised myself" and moved on with the conversation. My therapist was like, "hmm, let's revisit that." I used to have these stories I'd tell as a joke, about teaching myself to cook using cookbooks at the library or figuring out how to sign myself up for an art class through the rec center by going down to the parks and rec office myself after school. These were stories about me being a quirky, independent, weird kid. The unspoken part of the story was that I was spending as little time at home as possible because I didn't want to be around the yelling and fighting, and the reason I did this stuff myself was because no one else would. It took me a long time to let go of that version of the story and acknowledge that these were actually stories of a sad childhood. But I also realized that I was never going to be able to fix the stuff in my adult life until I accepted what had actually happened in my childhood. The only reason I have a functional marriage and family life is because I finally stopped romanticizing the abusive childhood I experienced.[/quote]

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