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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - the oldest one (10) is friends enough with the older kid to have had sleepovers with him and also with the other boys invited (and pretty regular playdates). Ie they are close enough that to not have been invited even absent the sibling thing would have been kind of a bummer. It’s totally fair that if the kid is not digging my kid he doesn’t have to invite him. But I think for older dc; watching your brother and father go to an occasion with a friend group you are just on the peripheral of is going to make existing feelings worse. I think it actually would have been better if they had invited neither kid and saved an invite for the younger dc to any occasion where it wasn’t all the kids together [/quote]

Thanks for the update. 10 is a tough age. This is when not everyone is invited to birthday parties. A lot of shifts in friendship. I’m sorry, OP.

I don’t think you should be mad or upset with the parents or even the kid. It sounds like their younger son likes and is friends with your son but the older ones are not friends or not close friends.

I have heard so many stories and have had my own kids not want to invite a kid or their kid is the one not invited. My kids have never complained to me but I think they get invited to their actual friends’ outings. I personally used to be the one to urge kids to be very inclusive.

I posted here about my son’s 11th birthday and son wanting to invite all the boys in the class and not invite 2. He was not friends with them. I knew one mom fairly well and he older sibling was in the same grade as my other kid. I clearly remember my son saying he never talked to the kid. I still made my son invite him but they didn’t come anyways. I now don’t comment on anything about friends. He is old enough to make his own friends. When he has friends over, I will bring up a kid he used to like or I like mom but if he doesn’t want hang out with him, I don’t force it. Very different from when he was in lower grades.[/quote]

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