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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks.  And that's a thanks to all of you, including the people who think I'm awful.

Yes, I am super flawed myself as a person and as a parent.  Yes, I am super-judgey toward my sister.  She is, quite separately from everything that has happened in the past 12 months or so, a messy human being.  A lot of the time I don't like her.  We're not close, and that's for the best.  But I also love her and wish so much that she didn't have to go through this grief.  Her eldest was a good person with a whole promising life ahead, and to the person who wrote that I don't seem to be grieving, I cordially invite you to go pound sand.

I absolutely hate how gossipy, backstabby, and dramatic my entire family is  -- I try to stay away from it and out of it, and that's why I did my venting here in an anonymous forum, rather than calling my mother or my favorite cousin.  Really trying hard to keep that particular dynamic from continuing in my own life.

I really appreciate the advice I'm getting and, while I don't like the criticism, I appreciate it too and am reflecting upon it.  [/quote]

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