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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi, this is OP. Thanks for all the responses.

The question was not "help me determine if I am inventing care tasks", but "there are time-consuming admin tasks that can be done remotely. Given that due to my proximity to mom my family is already taking care of some errands for mom (think bring in heavy groceries, clean gutters, mow lawn, IT help), it makes sense to split some of the remote tasks (think taxes, fin assistance paperwork, fin planning, assisted living research, insurance paperwork - it's a lot and she cannot do it herself).

I mainly care to establish a precedent going forward that I am not the default person to take care of all physical and admin needs. There is some helpful advice there - thanks for that. [/quote]

Unfortunately, OP, you are not hearing what people are saying. Barring extraordinary circumstances, 68 is way too young to start this. Your brother is probably responding to that. I would definitely push back if I was your brother, and I do and have done a ton of caregiving. So this isn't just me being selfish. I believe you are allowing your mother to do this because she is lonely.

If you want to take on the responsibility great. But it's too soon (given that you said she is in pretty good health) for someone to be required to do anything. You can't expect your brother to start doing what YOU want him to do when it really shouldn't be necessary. THAT is what people are telling you. There is no answer to How can I make my brother do more, when it's too early. [/quote]

This. Your brother probably thinks, reasonably enough, that 68 is not that old and your mother is capable of hiring a tax preparer. That is why he isn't stepping up.[/quote]

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